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From my experience, and the women I’ve worked with and talked to around New Zealand, that’s not most of what it looks like.

In the refuge there are mostly women whose abuse is mostly verbal, emotional and psychological.

Four years ago I rang up the refuge, because the kids always leave clothes and shoes behind every single term and I was sick of it. I didn’t know anything about the refuge, so I just thought she was a volunteer.

Turns out she ran the place, that’s how desperate they were for donations at the time.

That movie said to people ‘this is what domestic violence looks like and this is who does it’. It’s what it looks like for some people, but that’s not the way it is for everyone.

I go to our big storage unit of donations and sort out what they need.It’s as simple as that, asking the basic question ‘what do you need? The whole thing is about providing stuff for them so that they have less on their plate to worry about.The other biggest part for me is working on relationships.’ I would put it out on Facebook and then BAM: microwave.I first visited the refuge myself in February 2013.

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